Amsterdam
by Blondie B. Happy
Summary: Augustus taught Hazel the important things in life, and that you need to live it the best you can, because you never know what day will be your last. With Gus dead, Hazel is trying to forget the pain, but he will not be forgotten so easily. And Hazel isn't sure if she's ready to. He's still there, in her dreams, fighting with her every step of the way. One-Shot.


**I finished Fault in Our Stars two days ago. I took me less than a day to read. John Green is such an amazing author, and this book did not disappoint. When I heard this song, which is Amsterdam by Imagine Dragons, I immediately thought of our favorite couple, Hazel and Augustus. And because of that, I had to write a story!**

**Warning: Hazel/Augustus, songfic, typos, maybe PWP, probably OOC, oneshot, first story for FIOS, super sad. Bold means song lyrics. You have been warned. **

**Hope You Enjoy! Remember: The song is symbolic!**

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My dream started like this:

Gus and I were back in Amsterdam, sitting at a café table with people milling all around us. I was drinking a latte and Gus wasn't having anything. He was only staring at our intertwined hands as if it were the most tragic sight in the entire universe, which I didn't understand.

But this silence between us was fragile, and I wasn't about to ruin it. Yet, of course, someone else did.

_**I'm sorry, mother... I'm sorry, I let you down  
Well, these days I'm fine - No these days I tend to lie  
I'll take the West train, just by the side of Amsterdam  
Just by my left brain, just by the side of the Tin Man**_

I bit back my anger. Augustus noticed and smiled a bit; he seemed to be in pain. "What's the matter?"

"Can we just not go anywhere without someone or something messing it all up?" I pointed to the band across the street that was singing the song. "I mean, they could've come out any other day at any other time, but it had to be now!"

He chuckled. "I kind of like the song, actually."

I rolled my eyes. "I should've guessed. Listen: they aren't even singing the song in Dutch! And it's all about Amsterdam. That's a little bull shitty."

_**I'm sorry, brother... I'm sorry, I let you down  
Well, these days you're fine - No these days you tend to lie  
You'll take the West train, just by the side of Amsterdam  
Just by your left brain, just by the side of the Tin Man**_

Now Augustus was humming along. I slapped his hand, and he let out that beautiful laugh of his that I fell in love with. "What? It has a good beat to it. Maybe it is a little bull shitty, but it's not terrible."

I scratched my nose where the tubes were, but suddenly, the tubes weren't even there anymore. I glanced around. My oxygen tanks were gone too.

Panic settled inside of my gut for a moment. I wait for the familiar feelings. My lungs on fire, the terrible headaches, and most of all, the screams that would escape me. I could already picture Gus carrying me to the hospital, and then being stuck in ICU for another week.

But that feeling never came.

_**Your time will come if you wait for it, if you wait for it  
It's hard, believe me... I've tried  
But I keep coming up short**_

Gus stood up and my heart stopped. No joke, it really did. His leg was gone.

Well, his prosthetic leg was gone. But he was standing up perfectly. He had two good legs that looked the same and seemed to function perfectly. He eyed me oddly, probably because I was gaping like a fish. "Are you okay?" he asked, gripping both of my arms. When I didn't respond, he started to shake me.

Finally, I pushed him away. "God, I'm fine, Gus. Quit that!"

"I thought you had gone into shock for a minute."

"Then we need to work with you on overreacting."

He suddenly snatched my hand in both of his and pulled me out of my seat. "What?" I asked, but he continued to pull me across the street and over to where the band was. He was too strong, and as much as I tried to pull away, the effort was futile. So I let him drag me.

_**I'm sorry, lover... You're sorry; I bring you down  
Well, these days I try and these days I tend to lie  
Kinda thought I was a mystery and then I thought I wasn't meant to be  
You said yourself fantastically, "Congratulations, you were all alone"**_

Once he had stopped dragging me, he put both of my hands in both of his. "Will you dance with me?" he asked.

"What in the world?" I exclaimed. "Where did all of this come from? Why do you want to dance?"

"Hazel Grace, we are both dying as we speak. I want to do everything with you." He took my waist in one graceful swoop of his hands, and pulled my right against his chest. Our noses were almost touching as he bent over me. He pressed his lips to my forehead. "Please?"

"I don't know how to dance," I protested.

He grinned. "Then all you have to do is follow my lead."

_**Your time will come if you wait for it, if you wait for it  
It's hard, believe me... I've tried  
Your time will come if you wait for it, if you wait for it  
It's hard, believe me... I've tried**_

He began to shuffle his feet back and forth in an unorganized collection of steps. We turned in our small square continuously, and I almost expected myself to get sick, and I am proud to say that I didn't.

Augustus kept one of my and glided away from me. Then he put his hand up and twirled me three times, my short hair whipping around my head. Then he pulled me to side. My hands were crossed in front of me, and he laid his on top of mine as we stepped side to side.

He rested his chin on top of my head. "You're so beautiful," he whispered.

"You lied," I answered back.

"What?"

"You said you knew how to dance, and turning in circles is not dancing."

_**But the rain won't fall for the both of us  
The sun won't shine on the both of us  
Believe me when I say, that I wouldn't have it any other way**_

He shrugged. "I had to make up some type of an excuse to get you to come out here and dance with me. Sometimes you just have to get out of your comfort zone."

He spun me around until I was facing him. "I love you no matter what, Hazel Grace. Please believe me when I say that." He kissed me once on the lips.

"I love you too, Gus." But Augustus was fading into a mist that hadn't even been there five seconds ago. His legs were gone first, and his face was last. There was a smile on it, a laugh frozen into place. And then he was gone, and so was I.

_**Your time will come if you wait for it, if you wait for it  
It's hard, believe me... I've tried  
But I won't wait much longer 'cause these walls they're crashing down  
And I won't wait much longer 'cause these walls they're crashing down  
And I keep coming up short**_

I woke up with tears in my eyes and the final lyrics of the song echoing in my ears. 'And I keep coming up short'. _An Imperial Affliction_ was lying across my chest, opened up to the middle of the book. I couldn't even remember why I had opened up the book. I grabbed the book and threw it across the room at the door. Then I began to sob and curse my life

Gus, my Augustus, who always let made me expect the unexpected, who had opened up my eyes and let me see f how life was for the first time, was never coming back.

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